It’s the time of year so many of us reflect on the year that’s come to a close and start thinking about the things we want to accomplish in the upcoming future.

This is also something we can share with our children—and not just at the beginning of a new year.

Self-reflection is an important skill for anyone to develop, but it’s especially essential to teach our children if we want them to grow up to be confident decision-makers forging their own paths to success.

It’s never too early for self-reflection.

Our children don’t need to wait until they are adults to start exploring their interests, talents, skills, and the unique combination of gifts that will help them figure out what will bring them fulfillment as adults. 

Too often, I see adults who are decades into a career they hate because they didn’t spend time figuring out what they were interested in when they were young.

Maybe their parents told them they had to go to college, or perhaps everyone in the family is a doctor, so they became a doctor. But, they all have one thing in common—they followed the path they thought they needed to and ended up unhappy and without any idea what would bring them joy.

This is why I made sure to encourage my children to reflect starting at a young age.

Self-reflection is something parents should do with their children and it doesn’t have to be intense, formal, or uncomfortable. In fact, we don’t even need to ‘frame’ our conversations as self-reflection. And, we’re probably already doing some form of ‘self-reflection’ with our children and we don’t even realize it. 

Asking our children ‘how was your day” is reflection. 

We’re asking them to consider the events that took place, how they felt about them, and to summarize a response to share with us. 

We can encourage our children to reflect more deeply by guiding them with questions like…

“Why?”

“What made your day great?”

“What did they enjoy?”

“What was the high point of your day?”

In my own family, we used to go around the dinner table and share our best and worst moments of the day. 

Some families share their silliest moments or the moment they were most proud of. There are so many ways to start incorporating self-reflection into the conversations we’re already having as a family. 

But, if our children have trouble forming their thoughts in this type of setting or if they feel ‘put on the spot,’ we can start by listening. We can observe our children during normal conversations, and take note when they’re extra animated, when they light up, or when they seem blue. These are all things that we can start to the catalog to help with reflection.

As we move into 2023, I encourage you to make self-reflection a priority with your family if it isn’t already. It’s a great way to empower your children with confidence—because they’ll start to recognize their strengths and skills the more they reflect.