Amanda, have you heard the term ‘helicopter parenting’?

How about ‘tiger parenting’?

Or, ‘snowplow parenting’?

These are just some of the names for parenting styles that have been deemed ‘intensive parenting.’ They typically involve placing rigorous demands on children and being incredibly involved in planning out every aspect of their children’s life.

There’s a lot of backlash when it comes to these methods of parenting, but that leaves many parents with one important question:

Can we be hands-on with our children without hovering?

Simply, yes!

But, it’s not always easy to resist the urge to get completely involved in our child’s future and to immerse ourselves in their activities. Instead, here are some ways we can connect with our children, while still giving them room to make their own choices and explore their own paths.

ENCOURAGE CHILDREN TO EXPLORE THE THINGS THEY LOVE

One of the most important things we can do for children is to prioritize exploration. When we give children the space and support they need to pursue their interests, we’re encouraging them to figure out what brings them joy and how they find fulfillment. We get to be involved in their lives through encouragement and we get to experience that journey with them, instead of trying to guide them down a certain path.

We can also remind our children that ‘success’ and ‘achievement’ aren’t always the goal. Trying new things, whether we succeed at them or not, is valuable and we can help our children practice this mindset

CELEBRATE THEIR EXCITEMENT AND INTERESTS

Even if our children have passions we don’t understand or interests we’ve never tried before, we can still be involved by celebrating with them. Accept that it’s okay for our kids to pursue hobbies that differ from our childhood interests and instead get excited when they discover something they love.

GUIDE CHILDREN THROUGH SELF-REFLECTION 

One way we can guide our children is by teaching them self-reflection. It’s something that is so important and that will set our children up for happiness and fulfillment in the future. Self-reflection helps bolster resilience. It also gives children the tools they need to evaluate their choices and identify what brings them joy, what they’d like to stop pursuing, and what they’d like to try in the future.

When we help our children explore their interests, gifts, and passions, we’re enabling them with the curiosity and confidence they need to pursue a future that will bring them fulfillment—instead of just following a path that’s the default or that they think is what’s expected of them. This is the key to being hands-on as a parent without hovering.